Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
bring money and cleavage
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
