playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
