I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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