bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
