she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I need to calm my uterus...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
