Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
