just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
