We won't sleep together?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
