DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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