I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
