i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
