In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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