I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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