so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
