Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
