Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
