If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
