we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
