I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
