Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
