went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
