I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
