I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
