Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
