i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So many bounce houses so little time
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
