Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
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Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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