I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
