dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
