Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize