why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
