I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
