i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
