Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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