its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
