thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
