Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
