Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
