why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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