idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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