You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
