if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
