How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
