Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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