I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
