If i come over, it means nothing
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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