There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize