There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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