Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
