Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize