Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think I died a long time ago.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize