Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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