so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize