scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
