what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
