You work out of a Hotel?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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