in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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