We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
