This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
