Moan for me like Helen Keller
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
