I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Even my vagina gasped.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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