The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
