just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
