she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
