ya dads aren't the best wingmen
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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