there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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