We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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