We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
